Goals

Randy and I talked at church today on Goals. I love the opportunity speaking gives me to study a specific subject. I don't do this on my own but when given the challenge to speak in front of a congregation I feel I better learn so I can teach and help others become better. I usually learn more than I can share and today wasn't any different. Michelle and Clinton had to give opening and closing prayers to the meeting. My Dad, Sierra and Becky showed up without us knowing they were coming. I am greatful for a supportive family. Following are the talks which we prepared.

Nicole's Talk

I was asked a couple of Sunday’s ago if I could meet in the bishop’s office after church with my husband and after a couple hours of wondering what change could be coming my way I finally met with the bishop. He asked if we would mind speaking. Although I felt a lot of hesitation I tried not to show it and responded with an immediate, yes. I could have come across as confident but my mind was screaming insecurity. The Bishop then gave me the topic of Goals and how setting goals as a family, brings us closer to our Heavenly Father. At that point I was thinking, easy subject…it’s a no brainer. Now I was feeling confident but as my studies began I realized I should have been feeling a lot more insecure. Sometimes I view circumstances through a telescope and that is usually when I get a humble awakening and see the entire mountain.

So my thoughts were this. Hmm.… Family home evening, scripture study and prayer. Do these three things and your family will be closer to Heavenly Father. I could end my talk here but in my studies this week I have learned a lot and I am excited to share these things with you. I have realized there is a lot more to the equation then actually just setting the goal. We must have the faith that we can reach those goals.

“A goal is a standard, a skill, an ideal, or a destination that is to be achieved. We set a goal when we decide to accomplish a particular thing. Some goals, such as saving money to buy a new home or doing things to improve the love and peace within the family, may take months or years. Goals that will help us become worthy to dwell eternally with our Heavenly Father may take an entire lifetime. Some goals may not even be attained during a lifetime on earth, but may require additional effort in the hereafter.”

Do you have family goals that will bring you closer to Heavenly Father? If not, try and set a goal and do them. Some of us may want to increase our family’s knowledge of the scriptures or improve church attendance. Others of us may want to work with our families to improve the cleanliness of our homes. Our families may need to improve our ability to pay tithing. We will not always have the same goals as other families because our needs are not always the same. Don’t give up when the goal you set doesn’t become a habit quickly. Just try and do better, a little better each day. Make a chart of some sort or write your goal down so you will follow through and your goal will become a visual reality.

In our home we have a rock jar that we started. When we have family prayer and scripture study we can move the rocks from one bucket to another. When all the rocks are moved to a different bucket then we can go get shakes as a family, this is something we all look forward to. My kids make sure we follow through with our goals because most often they are more motivated and obedient than me. Giving the children motivation has encouraged our family to accomplish our goals. Find a motivation that encourages your family to accomplish goals.
I remember as a young child, probably 8 or 9 years old, going to a neighbors home. I felt the spirit in this home and knew one day I wanted to model my family after this one. It is incredible to me that I had the capacity to do this at such a young age but I took mental notes often of the things this family did that I wanted to do when I had a family or home of my own. One night I was invited to attend family home evening with this family. I remember them starting off with a question. The question was, “What can we do as a Family to be better?” Then everyone in the family, which was 8 kids and 2 adults suggested ideas for a goal they could have that week.

Although I can’t remember the goal the family set that day, I remember the spirit teaching me that setting goals as a family was something that could strengthen my home.

Often when I see something we are struggling with as a family that is keeping the spirit out of our home I will suggest it as a goal to work on for the week. When our family takes the challenge to achieve the goal it always helps bring us closer to Heavenly Father.

Another important time in my life that I was impressed to set goals was when I was married. I remember during our ceremony the sealer talking for a long time. To be honest, instead of soaking in every detail, I remember thinking, “How come no one told me some guy, whom I didn’t know was going to talk forever?” Then trying to refocus on what he was talking about. Now, I value so much the advice I can remember from that moment. One of the things he mentioned that day, was that Randy and I should always be thinking about our future together. He advised us to ask ourselves what we wanted our future to be like and to visualize where we would be in a month and then five and ten years from now. Although, we don’t always remember to keep his advice and look to our future with hope, I know that when we set righteous goals many blessings are received.

Think about what your family wants to achieve in mortality, and prayerfully seek to know Heavenly Father’s will for your family. Then set realistic goals to attain your desires.
Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “Let me tell you something about goal setting. I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the technique of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principle of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life.”

I hope I can help you understand something more I learned this week. Just as M. Russell Ballard suggests, I too feel that an important part of setting goals as a family and individually is to be able to reach our full potential. I believe in order to do this we need to be able to see each other’s full potential…The potential our Father in Heaven sees in each of us. We have to be able to believe we can reach those goals.

I would like to paraphrase and tell the story of Lot. Lot lived in Sodom and Gomorrah when the Lord asked him and his family to leave because the Lord was planning to destroy those cities. Genesis 19:17 reads, “Escape for thy life, Look not behind thee…escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.” It took a while but Lot’s family did leave just before the city was destroyed. In Genesis 19:24-25 it tells us what happened the morning after they left. “The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven; and he overthrew those cities.” Then can you believe what happens next, in Genesis 19:26, it says that Lot’s wife looked back and she was turned into a pillar of salt.

What did Lot’s wife do that was so wrong? In January 2009, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a talk at a BYU devotional titled, “The Best is Yet to Be.” He answers this question in his talk. He said, “Apparently, what was wrong with Lot’s wife was that she wasn’t’ just looking back; in her heart she wanted to go back. It would appear that even before she was past the city limits, she was already missing what Sodom and Gomorrah had offered her.” He continued by saying, “It is possible that Lot’s wife looked back with resentment toward the Lord for what He was asking her to leave behind…..So, it isn’t just that she looked back; she looked back longingly. In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future….She did not have faith. She doubted the Lords ability to give her something better than she already had. “

How often do you look into the past not having confidence for your future?

Jeffrey R. Holland challenged the audience in his talk by stating, “I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in…There is something in many of us that particularly fails to forgive and forget earlier mistakes in life-either our mistakes or the mistakes of others. It is not good. It is not Christian. It stands in opposition…to the Atonement of Christ.”

I have a friend who has struggled during many of his years. He is a successful businessman. When he was first married he was Elders Quorum President. He cared a lot for the families in his ward. He would make sure that all the homes in the ward were visited and home taught every month, even if it had to be done by him. My friend has a testimony of our Church and has a very big heart. He is full of love and cares deeply for those around him.
A few years after being Elder’s Quorum President my friend slowly began spending his Sundays working on building his successful and very demanding business. During this time he lost his habit of going to church. If his work load was ever light, then on Sunday, he would take advantage of the extra time with entertainment. He would also use this time to take his family to dinner and movies and then eventually began skiing on this day. To help him relax he started drinking a little here and there.

Tragically, when he was 37, his wife passed away. This left my friend with a busy career and three young children at home. As you can imagine, It also left him in a place of despair. Sadly, he turned to alcohol and then drugs for relief. This brought addiction and even more struggles into his life.

After the death of his wife, he was re-married. The woman he married wasn’t a member of our church. But, soon after their marriage she became interested in the church and allowed missionaries into their home. After over a year of discussions and missionary visits, my friend started going back to church.

Although he attended his church meetings and tried to do his best to remain strong…Addiction was strong too. Eventually he spent some time in Jail for using drugs. He also spent time in an addiction program to help him overcome his addictions.
After spending time in Jail he sold his home to find a new place to live. Randomly, my friend moved into an area where an old college friend of his lived. This old friend of his began to visit my friend and became his home teacher. He knew the potential my friend had and helped him to step away from his past and look into the future. He saw him how our Heavenly Father sees each one of us. Because of this my friend is now a changed person striving to live the gospel and find happiness in it.

I share this story with you not because I want you to know of my friends past and his struggles but because I want you to see the incredible ability my friend had to move forward with his life. Most importantly, I want you to realize that it was a friend of his who saw his full potential.

Do you see the potential in others that our Heavenly Father sees in each one of us?

This story isn’t complete. I was recently with my friend. I was joking with him about his past, which I often do. I even remember him saying, “Have you heard of repentance?” Then we went on to continue joking around. Sometimes this joking is done for humor and sometimes this is because of my pain from our past experiences together.

I was reading a quote by Jeffrey R. Holland when I no longer felt as though I was looking through a telescope on setting goals but that I was beginning to see the Entire Mountain the ability that setting goals gives us to reach our full potential. We are to become better people and a better family our future is to be made and our past to be forgotten.

This is what Elder Holland’s said, “When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died to heal. Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is that charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!”

This past week I was humbled. As I was read this quote and thought about my talk. I kept thinking about my situation with my friend. I realized I have been providing little hope for my friend’s future. I realized I had not been seeing his full potential. I am excited to think about seeing the full potential in my friend. Although, this may be difficult to break a habit I have of viewing him and others through their pasts. I have now set a goal to work on seeing the full potential in not just him but all those I know.

Elder Holland further suggests that “God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as he does about where you are and with his help where you are willing to go.”

Are you allowing family members, friends and ward members to obtain the goals they have set by recognizing individuals for their full potential, just as our Father in Heaven sees them? Remember, that to have faith is to leave the past behind. Forgive and Forget. Live for the future. Just like lot’s wife was told “Look not behind thee.” Remember anyone can change. The Atonement is for each one of us. Jesus Christ sacrificed himself so we could all look forward with hope.

I hope I can remember D&C 58:42. “He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I the Lord remember them no more.”
I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.


Randy's Talk

Well I’m grateful to be with you brothers and sisters. I am so blessed with such a great companion. She is fantastic.
Well I to was asked to speak a little bit on personal goal setting. Now this is the time of year when we all set some sort of goals. Some may be to get back to exercising and lose weight, that’s always a common one, some may be to earn more money this year, be promoted in a job, find a different job, eat better, be more friendly to our neighbors, but no matter what is, we all seem to set some sort of a goal at this time of year. Why I was asked to speak on this subject, I’m not exactly sure. I’m the type of guy who says “I’ll just not set goals, that way I won’t feel bad when I don’t achieve them. It’s easier that way right? Wrong! Personal goals are an essential part of life.
The problem many of us have with goals is how long do we keep them? What I see in myself and I’m sure many of you have a similar problem, is that goals are often time short lived. You may decide I’m going to get up at 5am and exercise everyday, which ends up lasting about 2-3 days. I like to call this the honeymoon phase with our goals. Ya know the honeymoon phase when I used to do everything my wife asked me to do, now after 11 years I just do everything she tells me to do…..j/k
When we look a little deeper into goals what do we find… Now there are many different kinds of goals. If you know me at all you would know that I love the game of hockey, so the first thing I think of when I hear the word goal or in hockey terms… the word GOOOAAALL! I think of a player beating the goalie, the puck crossing the goal line and into the net. But that is not the type of goal I’m talking about.
One of the definitions of the word goal is; the result or achievement toward which effort is directed: Have we all not had a goal sometime in our life to achieve something we work towards?… Getting a good grade in school, obtaining employment, potty training a child, or whatever it may be? Of course we have. But what other types of goals should we be setting for ourselves. What about our spiritual goals? What kinds of goals are we setting in our spiritual lives?
President Spencer W. Kimball shared one of his many goals…
“Let me tell you of one of the goals that I made when I was still but a lad. When I heard a Church leader from Salt Lake City tell us at conference that we should read the scriptures, and I recognized that I had never read the Bible, that very night at the conclusion of that very sermon I walked to my home a block away and climbed up in my little attic room in the top of the house and lighted a little coal-oil lamp that was on the little table, and I read the first chapters of Genesis. A year later I closed the Bible, having read every chapter in that big and glorious book.
He went on to say:
“I found that this Bible that I was reading had in it 66 books, and then I was nearly dissuaded when I found that it had in it 1,189 chapters, and then I also found that it had 1,519 pages. It was formidable, but I knew if others did it that I could do it.
“I found that there were certain parts that were hard for a 14-year-old boy to understand. There were some pages that were not especially interesting to me, but when I had read the 66 books and 1,189 chapters and 1,519 pages, I had a glowing satisfaction that I had made a goal and that I had achieved it.
So what are some of our spiritual goals? Are we attending our church meetings, are we praying daily, are we studying scriptures daily? Are we following the prophet? All these things are so readily available to us if we just put our minds to it and do them. We are asked to come to church for 3 hours a week, is that really that difficult? How hard is it to pray morning and night? How difficult is it to take 20 minutes out of our day to study the scriptures? And why would we not follow the prophet?
Truman Madson defines a prophet as a “foreteller, he has prophetic access to the future. Also prophets have been called “forth-tellers,” meaning that they speak forth boldly in judgment and in recommendation as to their own time. A prophet too is a man who has authority, who speaks with more than human sanction. He is a recoverer or discoverer of truth. He is an advocate of social righteousness. He is a charismatic, one whose personality manifests something that attracts in a spiritual sense. He is one who endures suffering, and does so radiantly. He is an embodiment of love. He is a seer, meaning that he has the capacity to clearly understand and reveal truth. Finally, among the great prophets of the past, many have been martyrs.”
After hearing that, why would we not want to follow someone like that?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that all of us here have one common goal. What goal is that you might ask? Our common goal is to one day return home to our heavenly father. That brothers and sisters is the ultimate goal for all of us. But what are we doing today to achieve that goal? Are we just living day to day going through life letting it pass us by?
The way I see it, there are 3 types of people in this world, those that make things happen, those that let things happen, and those that watch things happen, I often ask myself which type am I? Sometimes I’m probably a mix of all of them.
Now I have a question for each of you. You may find this question rather bizarre, but what is the difference between ham and eggs? Think about that for a minute, what is the difference between ham and eggs? When I asked my wife this question, she gave answers such as, you eat them at different times of day, they are different animals. One is a mammal, one is an amphibian. Although each of these answers could possibly fit…..To me - The difference between ham and eggs is that the chicken makes a contribution, the pig makes a commitment.
I look at a goal as an ending place, something you have reached, after hard work and dedication. To get to that goal, we must make smaller commitments that we can do each and every day. A commitment to me is a much more powerful term. When you are committed to something, I see that as something you take serious. Commitment is defined as the act of committing, the state of being committed, engaging oneself, a pledge or promise; an obligation. When we make a commitment, that to me is something that we cannot fail in. We often can fall short on goals, but if we have smaller commitments in place that we commit ourselves to meet, we have a much greater chance of reaching those different goals that we set. If I have a goal to be healthier for the year 2011 what does that mean. But if I am committed to get up early each morning and exercise, I will automatically reach that goal of being healthier in 2011. Think of it in another sense. Each of you picture yourself up here on the stand with me. Let’s say I have eight apples up here and I’m going to throw them to you. Now your goal is to catch them all and not let any of them drop. That is your ultimate goal. Now if I take my bucket of apples here and toss them all to you at once what is the chance you are going to accomplish that goal of not dropping any? Probably not very good, actually probably near impossible. However, if I take them out one at a time and throw them to you, do you think you could catch all eight? Your chances would surely be much greater.
When Nephi returned to Jerusalem, to obtain the brass plates from Laban, he stated in 1 Ne 3:7
And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I awill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no bcommandments unto the children of men, save he shall cprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.
Did Nephi set a goal….Or commitment?
My son Jordan loves to play hockey. He doesn’t like me telling people that, so I know I’m in a lot of trouble when we leave here today. He likes to keep that between him and me. But he had a goal to one day play hockey. Now could he just go out and play ice hockey without some sort of preparation at all? Never having ever skated before? No! He had to make a certain commitment first, to learn how to skate so he could reach his goal of playing hockey. He was committed every week to go skate for 6 months leading up to the moment he could put on his pads, grab his stick and go out and play. Now that he can skate well enough to play hockey, is he ready to enter the NHL, of course not, he needs to go practice and practice to better his skills if he’s going to someday reach that ”goal” to play in the NHL. Ok he really doesn’t have that goal but you get the idea. Now I’m sure you have all heard the phrase “practice makes perfect?”
When we look at a gospel perspective, does practice make perfect? Will we be perfect if we practice those commitments that we set for ourselves each day? I mean, we strive to be perfect, but as mortals, that is not really possible?
One of my favorite quotes comes from the movie Forever Strong, about the Highland Rugby team here in Utah. In that film, the coach makes a statement that the team would chant, which said “practice does not make perfect, practice makes permanent.” What a profound statement. If we apply that in a gospel setting, if we practice the things we know that are right, we will make them permanent.
Years ago when I was a missionary, and I’m sure you missionaries out there can attest to this, I prayed more then, than any other time in my life. When you wake up in the morning, the first thing you would do is hit your knees, get ready for the day and hit your knees before personal study, then pray over breakfast, then before companionship study you would hit your knees as a companionship, before you left the house, hit your knees again. The list would go on and on, before each appointment, during each appointment, after each appointment, it wouldn’t be uncommon to pray 25-30 times a day. That was permanent for me on my mission. Now 13 years later, there are times when I forget to pray altogether. Why? Because I wasn’t practicing to make it permanent! Is praying to my heavenly father a couple times a day to hard of a commitment to make to help me progress towards my ultimate goal? I don’t think it is. If we practice reading the scriptures a little bit each day, if we practice coming to church each week and attending all our meetings, we will make it permanent so that we won’t have to think each week about going, we’ll just go. We won’t have to think about reading scriptures each day, we’ll just do it. Practice does not make perfect, practice makes permanent!
I know that goal setting is an essential part of lives, both spiritually and temporally. Within the church you will find that we are a goal setting people. From primary to adulthood we set goals. In primary we set such goals as memorizing the articles of faith or learning songs for a specific program. YM and YW set different to earn Duty to God or YW recognition award.
A good rule of thumb is to set SMART goals or commitments to achieve those ultimate goals.
• S - Specific (or Significant). Be specific of what you would like to accomplish
• M - Measurable (or Meaningful). Make sure you can measure or gage that goal
• A - Attainable (or Action-Oriented). Set realistic goals or commitments
• R - Relevant (or Rewarding). Make it Relevant to what you want
• T - Time-bound (or Trackable). Set due dates

Now brothers and sisters I challenge you to set some goals, both temporally and spiritually. Work toward something, by committing yourselves, to simple everyday things you can and will do to one day achieve that goal you have set out for yourself. Strive to get a little better each day both in personal life and spiritual life. Doing a little better each day will take us to that next level in our lives. Be the type of person that makes things happen rather than be one of those that lets things happen or just watches things happen.
I’m grateful for the opportunity I have had to study this topic. To refocus myself on my own commitments to reach those goals I have set. I know that as we set these righteous goals and strive to achieve them the lord will help us along the way. Our ultimate goal is to return to our heavenly father. He has that same goal for us and he is there to help us achieve that goal. He is there to reach down to us as we reach up for him. I know that this is the true gospel of Jesus Christ and that we have the fullness of the gospel on the earth today. We are so blessed to have the gospel in our lives, let us take full advantage of what we have and strive to meet that ultimate goal. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.